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holmesticeTitle: Sherlock Ferret and the Jumbled Journey
Recipient: Sanguinity
Author:iwantthatcoat
Verse: Sherlock Ferret
Characters/Pairings: Sherlock Ferret/Watson Mouse
Rating: Gen
Warnings: None
Summary:Sherlock Ferret and his friend Watson Mouse M.D. have an unexpected, and quite famous, visitor who has come to the duo for help—whilst being pursued by their rhinoceros (though not a very big one) friend, Lestrade. Can Sherlock Ferret convince Scotland Yard of the man’s (or should I say frog’s) innocence? And what does this all have to do with the nefarious Moriarty Magpie?
My friend and I were admiring our new Pigasso by the firelight and enjoying the cherry cake which Mrs Hudson- the owner of the bakery beneath which we have set up our cosy home- had accidentally discarded when I heard a fierce knocking upon the door. It seemed as if we would have to wait for another time to come to an agreement on whether the attractive young ferret in the portrait’s tail resembled Sherlock’s.
“Mr Ferret! Mr Sherlock Ferret, please do let me in!” The rattling grew louder still, and I rose from my comfortable chair, since Sherlock Ferret was currently stretched out upon the settee. When he is in such a position I know from experience he is very unlikely to move. I hastily brushed the traces of cake from off my whiskers so I might look more presentable and answered the door. I shouldn’t have worried, for once I had opened it our client rushed in and scarcely gave me so much as a passing glance before he made his way to where Sherlock was lounging (and if you've ever seen a ferret lounging at full length upon a settee, it is a remarkable sight indeed)
“Mr Sherlock Ferret you must help me! I am innocent, I tell you! Innocent! And if I do not arrive at the Reform Club in,” our visitor checked his pocket watch, “thirty-eight minutes, all is lost!”
“Why are you here, then, Mr Frog, and not claiming your prize for the successful completion of your trip?”
“So you know of me, then?”
“Indeed. My dear Phileas Frog, half of London is following your journey round the world, and the other half has grown tired of it these past eighty days and has turned their individual attentions to other matters. But why are you here? Who has driven you to seek assistance in my home at this crucial moment?”
“He’s after me, Mr Ferret! But I didn’t do it, Mr Ferret, I swear!”
“Do calm yourself, Mr Frog, and tell me your story so I might be of service. What exactly is it that you did not do?”
“I didn’t rob the bank! I wasn't even in London at the time! And still, Inspector Lestrade follows me! He has followed me round the world, and has caught up with me at last and means to arrest me!
“Arrest you!” said Sherlock Ferret. “This is really most grati—” I gave Sherlock a harsh stare, for he could, at times, be quite rude. “Most interesting,” he corrected. He closed his eyes. “Watson Mouse, what do the papers have to say on the matter?”
I picked up my issue of the Rodent Recorder. Normally, that publication only features rodent-related news, and Mr Frog was an amphibian, but as all of London was fascinated by his journey he was still given ample coverage. I first read a very short article I considered rather important proclaiming the Bank of London robbers still at large, despite a three-month-long investigation. It stated police were still seeking witnesses to the theft of a tin box filled with gold coins.
“Just before you left. No doubt some at Scotland Yard consider the timing suspicious,” said Sherlock Ferret.
“My club is also quite near the bank. I was there withdrawing funds for my trip just before my departure,” replied Phileas Frog.
Sherlock opened his eyes. “I see. And as they had not yet made an arrest, they suspected the thief was likely...away,”
“And there is more,” said I. There was a second article which I read aloud in its entirety
“London Struck By Frog Fever!
Today marks the deadline for Mr Phileas Frog’s arrival in London if he wishes to claim his cash prize! Londoners anxiously awaiting the results of the wager-heard-round-the-world are expected to fill the streets with both well-wishers and nay-sayers outside the venerable Reform Club from which Mr Frog had departed some 80 days ago, and to which he is scheduled to return this afternoon.
Mr Frog’s journey will have taken him through India, China and the wilderness of the American Continent, and one can only imagine the perils he and his stalwart companion, Opossumpartout, might have faced, and may yet contend with, in this race against the clock. He is said to have taken only the supplies he can carry upon his own person, intending to replenish them in foreign lands. It is believed Opossumpartout speaks many languages and Frog is expert at navigation, though this certainly does not ensure their safety.
If he returns on time, a banquet will be held in his honour this evening, with the Lord Mayor pledging his attendance.
LATER— It is rumoured as we go to press that Mr. Phileas Frog has actually been arrested on the charge of the robbery of the Bank of London—this event perhaps having precipitated his flight. It is at least certain that a warrant has been issued. The conduct of the criminal investigation has been left in the experienced hands of Inspector Lestrade, of Scotland Yard, who is following up the clues with his accustomed energy and sagacity.”
“Well, you have come to the right place, Mr Frog, for it is clear to me that you are innocent, though I fear that British juries have not yet attained that pitch of intelligence when they will give the preference to my theories over Lestrade’s facts.”
“What does sagacity mean, Sherlock?”
“Wisdom, Watson.”
“I see. Then the sagacity of Inspector Lestrade is no match for the sagacity of Mr Sherlock Ferret—the world’s only insulting detective!”
“Consulting detective, Watson Mouse! Consulting!”
I never do seem to get that right.
“And if I am not mistaken, and I surely am not, that is Lestrade upon the stair!”
Indeed, we could hear the heavy steps upon the stair of a rhinoceros (although not a very big one), and a moment later our old friend Lestrade appeared in the doorway.
“Tea?” offered Sherlock, as Lestrade entered our sitting room, breathless from the hill, as usual. I went to the kitchen to retrieve his large cup. He had left a not-very-big-rhinoceros-sized cup with us to use during his frequent visits for tea and cake, for ours had been far too small to accommodate a rhinoceros, even a not very big one.
“I would very much like to have some when this business is over, Mr Ferret, but first I must do my duty and arrest that thief!” He pointed accusingly at Mr Phileas Frog. “Phileas James Frog, I hereby arrest you for the robbery of the Bank of London.”
“One moment, Lestrade,” said Sherlock Ferret. “Half an hour more or less can make no difference to you, and the gentleman was about to give us the account of this very interesting affair, which might aid us in clearing it up.”
”I think there will be no difficulty in clearing it up,” said Lestrade, grimly. “His bags contained some of the missing gold coins.”
“Shiny gold coins?” asked Sherlock Ferret. Sherlock and I were well aware of Moriarty Magpie’s love for all things which sparkled.
“Exactly.”
Sherlock Ferret nodded with sagacity. (I am always happy to use the new words Sherlock Ferret has taught me.) “Nonetheless, my friend, with your permission I should be much interested to hear his account.”
“Well, Mr. Ferret,” said Lestrade politely, for he is always polite (unlike some other people), “it is difficult for me to refuse you anything, but at the same time I must remain with my prisoner and I am bound to warn him that anything he may say will appear in evidence against him.”
“And provided we accompany him, do you see any reason why he might not make his long-awaited appearance at the Reform Club?”
Lestrade weighed the matter a moment. “Well, provided he comes to Scotland Yard immediately after...”
“I could go to gaol happy if I could only make my appointment!” said Phileas Frog.
“Well then, that appears to settle the matter,” Sherlock Ferret hastily added. “And you can provide the details on the ride to the club.”
Lestrade looked uneasy, but agreed.
<<<______>>>
“From the beginning, then. What made you decide to set off upon this grand adventure?”
“Some members of the club were discussing new inventions, and the conversation turned rapidly to methods of transportation. The discussion led to a wager— that one could travel around the world by train and steamer in just eighty days, and that I myself could do it.”
“In what amount was the wager?”
“20,000 pounds.”
I gasped. That was quite a lot of money.
“Do you recall which club members were discussing the matter?”
“I’m sorry, Mr Ferret, but I do not.”
“That is a shame. Perhaps you will recall later. If you do, please provide me with that information.”
“I do recall a bird, and a lioness, and...a fish was upon the table. I had seen the bird at the club before, but not the other two.”
“Was the bird a magpie, by chance? Black and white with a top hat?”
“No, definitely not.”
Sherlock Ferret took a matchstick from out his coat pocket and began to chew on it. He claimed they helped in keeping his teeth sharp, but I knew this meant he was thinking especially hard. “Very well then, please proceed,” he said, and I smiled at his display of good manners. He smiled back at me, pleased that I had noticed.
“I was permitted a travelling companion, my friend Opossumpartout. We left by steamer for Bombay that very evening. It was then that I suspected we were being followed.”
Lestrade blushed, as far as it was possible for him to do so, for his skin was rather thick. “I had been on his trail, yes. It is very difficult for me to be stealthy, as you know.” I placed a hand on his knee reassuringly. He was not stealthy but he was still an excellent plainclothes detective, even though his clothes were quite fancy most of the time. “I did not have a warrant yet, so I had to wait,” he explained.
“As it turned out the wind was at our backs and the steamer arrived two days ahead of schedule! We had to wait for the train from Bombay to Calcutta, and so Opossumpartout decided to see the sights. He told me a fellow tourist suggested he visit a Hindu temple, and also advised him it was customary to don formalwear to do so. This friendly suggestion was inaccurate in the extreme, as one is not permitted to enter the sacred grounds as a visitor, and to do so wearing shoes was adding insult to injury. He barely made it to the ship in one piece!”
Sherlock Ferret turned to Lestrade. “Interesting, that a stranger should intervene in this manner, is it not?” Lestrade nodded in agreement.
“We were travelling through India when we heard of a calamity about to befall a beautiful princess who was about to be thrown upon a pyre! Of course it was my duty to rescue her.” I nodded in agreement. “We did so through Opossumpartout disguising himself as the ghost of the princess’s deceased husband, and she joined us on our journey.”
“This odd circumstance certainly cost you time.”
“That it did, but we had little choice but to save her. And the delay did not take us off our original schedule.”
Sherlock Ferret looked suspicious. “It is unusual that you should stumble upon this situation.”
“I do not doubt that the woman was in genuine peril, for she is now my wife and is of upstanding character. Why she—”
“Spare me the romance, for we have little enough time as is. Suffice it to say you remained poised to win the bet. What was the next delay?”
“I was detained in Calcutta for questioning by this man,” Frog gestured toward Lestrade, “and was unable to meet up with Opossumpartout, who had learned our ship would be leaving from Yokohama earlier than I had anticipated. We missed the steamer, and had to take another.”
“We are nearing our destination. I must continue to speed you through the process. Were there other delays?”
“We started due east from San Francisco, having been assured by the stationmaster that the train would take us all the way to New York, but the train ran out of track halfway across that vast continent. We had to connect the two separate rail lines via sled, and so missed our ship to Southampton. We did, however, manage to find a schooner bound for Queenstown, Ireland, followed by a train to Dublin and a mail boat to Liverpool. When I was in England once more, I heard that the Inspector now intended to arrest me.”
“It is likely the same stationmaster who misinformed you of the train’s route had a hand in planting the gold coins in your luggage. We haven’t the time to travel to the railway stations of California, Watson, but it remains my belief that were we able to do so and examine the area we would find a certain singular black feather upon the platform!”
“You are certain he is behind this?”
“Friend Watson, Moriarty Magpie is the organiser of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this land.”
“He is indeed nefarious!” I cried.
And speaking of the nefarious Moriarty Magpie, what should we see in the crowd of spectators lining the streets in front of the Reform Club awaiting Mr Phileas Frog’s arrival but a certain black-feathered bird sporting a shiny top hat!
“There he is!” cried Sherlock Ferret. “Stop the carriage! Watson Mouse and I shall exit here!” Mr Frog continued on toward the Reform Club rear entrance near where the stables were kept. Lestrade stayed at his side.
“Well, well, well if it isn't that sillysillysilly ferret and his little mouse! Whatever are you doing here?”
“I think the better question is what are you doing here, Moriarty Magpie!”
“Me? Well, I happen to have an invitation! My dear friend Colonel Sebastian Moorhen is a long-time member of this club, and he has invited me to join him to-day. It is rather exciting to see the conclusion of this trip round the world. Such a pity that Mr Frog could not finish on time. Such a pity!”
Colonel Moorhen smiled broadly. It was rather frightening, even though his smile didn’t show any pointy teeth, like Sherlock Ferret’s does. Moriarty Magpie smiled as well, and began to sing:
I’m a very clever magpie, and you’re a silly ferret.
I have some money, this is true, but never have I bet it.
You want to know my reasons, but it's to no avail.
For it gives me such great pleasure just to watch good people fail.
He would have won a fortune had he not delayed so long
And now that frog has nothing. And so I end my song.
Sherlock Ferret shook his tail in disagreement. We both agreed, without needing to discuss the matter, not to mention that Mr Phileas Frog had indeed won his bet.
<<<______>>>
I brought up a bit of a cinnamon apple pie—a rather remarkable breakfast, if I do say so myself—which Mrs Hudson had dropped near our door. Sherlock Ferret was lost in thought, and the carpet round his chair was littered with chewed matchsticks and the early editions of the morning papers. I offered him the confection, but Sherlock Ferret refused it. He seldom ate whilst on a case, claiming the digestion interfered with his thought process. When I protested, as I have in the past, he snapped that I was a doctor of mouseology, not a proper doctor, and he wished me to leave so he could do “ferret things”. I was able to provide a suitable distraction only by suggesting we visit the arboretum where there was a special exhibit on butterflies. Sherlock Ferret did so love his butterflies, and he reluctantly agreed to accompany me on a stroll. He returned home refreshed and wanting to discuss all that he had learned with Wiggins and the rest of the cappertillars that make up his Bakery Irregulars. After visiting with them, he returned to me in good spirits and spent a happy hour pouring through his Big Book of Butterflies.
“I owe you thanks for your company and your moral support to-day,” he said, placing his hand upon my shoulder. “I know Moriarty Magpie is behind this, but he is being truthful that he has not placed any wagers against Phileas Frog. I have checked. It is not enough to know that he is responsible. It is likely Mr Frog was not in London at the time of the robbery, but Lestrade will need to account for the coins planted in his bags and that will require motive. But even beyond that, I feel compelled to ferret out his reasoning. He taunts me with this.”
“I am privileged to be your friend, Sherlock Ferret. Perhaps it is my weakness, but when you left for the Case of the Poisoned Pond, I had to eat supper on my own, and brush my teeth and go to bed on my own. I did not like it. I also do not like it when you do ferret things on your own.”
I went to the kitchen and returned with mint hot chocolate for myself and soy milk and honey for Sherlock, having learned the recipe from Hilda Hedgehog. We sat together side by side upon the settee, quietly sipping our drinks before the fire. I suggested we retire early for the evening.
Sherlock Ferret opened the drawer which contained his pajamas, and glanced upward at the wall of criminals which lined the room. I disliked how they always seemed to stare outward with malevolence (that is a word Sherlock Ferret taught me which means bad thoughts), but some battles are not worth fighting. He fixed his gaze upon the portrait of Baron Grouper and his whole body gave a wriggle of suppressed excitement.
“A fish, Watson! There was a fish at the table. And a lion. And a bird. Not a magpie, Watson, but a moorhen! It was his friend, Colonel Moorhen who had placed the bet! That is why he sabotaged the journey. I must inform Lestrade at once!” He scurried off, no doubt to the nearest telegraph office.
I headed back to our sitting room to wait for his return. The Pigasso painting which adorned that particular wall, unfinished though it was, proved far more pleasant to look upon than those malevolent portraits. And I was beginning to agree that the ‘Ferret Before the Mirror’’s tail resembled Sherlock Ferret’s quite a bit after all.
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Recipient: Sanguinity
Author:
iwantthatcoatVerse: Sherlock Ferret
Characters/Pairings: Sherlock Ferret/Watson Mouse
Rating: Gen
Warnings: None
Summary:Sherlock Ferret and his friend Watson Mouse M.D. have an unexpected, and quite famous, visitor who has come to the duo for help—whilst being pursued by their rhinoceros (though not a very big one) friend, Lestrade. Can Sherlock Ferret convince Scotland Yard of the man’s (or should I say frog’s) innocence? And what does this all have to do with the nefarious Moriarty Magpie?
My friend and I were admiring our new Pigasso by the firelight and enjoying the cherry cake which Mrs Hudson- the owner of the bakery beneath which we have set up our cosy home- had accidentally discarded when I heard a fierce knocking upon the door. It seemed as if we would have to wait for another time to come to an agreement on whether the attractive young ferret in the portrait’s tail resembled Sherlock’s.
“Mr Ferret! Mr Sherlock Ferret, please do let me in!” The rattling grew louder still, and I rose from my comfortable chair, since Sherlock Ferret was currently stretched out upon the settee. When he is in such a position I know from experience he is very unlikely to move. I hastily brushed the traces of cake from off my whiskers so I might look more presentable and answered the door. I shouldn’t have worried, for once I had opened it our client rushed in and scarcely gave me so much as a passing glance before he made his way to where Sherlock was lounging (and if you've ever seen a ferret lounging at full length upon a settee, it is a remarkable sight indeed)
“Mr Sherlock Ferret you must help me! I am innocent, I tell you! Innocent! And if I do not arrive at the Reform Club in,” our visitor checked his pocket watch, “thirty-eight minutes, all is lost!”
“Why are you here, then, Mr Frog, and not claiming your prize for the successful completion of your trip?”
“So you know of me, then?”
“Indeed. My dear Phileas Frog, half of London is following your journey round the world, and the other half has grown tired of it these past eighty days and has turned their individual attentions to other matters. But why are you here? Who has driven you to seek assistance in my home at this crucial moment?”
“He’s after me, Mr Ferret! But I didn’t do it, Mr Ferret, I swear!”
“Do calm yourself, Mr Frog, and tell me your story so I might be of service. What exactly is it that you did not do?”
“I didn’t rob the bank! I wasn't even in London at the time! And still, Inspector Lestrade follows me! He has followed me round the world, and has caught up with me at last and means to arrest me!
“Arrest you!” said Sherlock Ferret. “This is really most grati—” I gave Sherlock a harsh stare, for he could, at times, be quite rude. “Most interesting,” he corrected. He closed his eyes. “Watson Mouse, what do the papers have to say on the matter?”
I picked up my issue of the Rodent Recorder. Normally, that publication only features rodent-related news, and Mr Frog was an amphibian, but as all of London was fascinated by his journey he was still given ample coverage. I first read a very short article I considered rather important proclaiming the Bank of London robbers still at large, despite a three-month-long investigation. It stated police were still seeking witnesses to the theft of a tin box filled with gold coins.
“Just before you left. No doubt some at Scotland Yard consider the timing suspicious,” said Sherlock Ferret.
“My club is also quite near the bank. I was there withdrawing funds for my trip just before my departure,” replied Phileas Frog.
Sherlock opened his eyes. “I see. And as they had not yet made an arrest, they suspected the thief was likely...away,”
“And there is more,” said I. There was a second article which I read aloud in its entirety
“London Struck By Frog Fever!
Today marks the deadline for Mr Phileas Frog’s arrival in London if he wishes to claim his cash prize! Londoners anxiously awaiting the results of the wager-heard-round-the-world are expected to fill the streets with both well-wishers and nay-sayers outside the venerable Reform Club from which Mr Frog had departed some 80 days ago, and to which he is scheduled to return this afternoon.
Mr Frog’s journey will have taken him through India, China and the wilderness of the American Continent, and one can only imagine the perils he and his stalwart companion, Opossumpartout, might have faced, and may yet contend with, in this race against the clock. He is said to have taken only the supplies he can carry upon his own person, intending to replenish them in foreign lands. It is believed Opossumpartout speaks many languages and Frog is expert at navigation, though this certainly does not ensure their safety.
If he returns on time, a banquet will be held in his honour this evening, with the Lord Mayor pledging his attendance.
LATER— It is rumoured as we go to press that Mr. Phileas Frog has actually been arrested on the charge of the robbery of the Bank of London—this event perhaps having precipitated his flight. It is at least certain that a warrant has been issued. The conduct of the criminal investigation has been left in the experienced hands of Inspector Lestrade, of Scotland Yard, who is following up the clues with his accustomed energy and sagacity.”
“Well, you have come to the right place, Mr Frog, for it is clear to me that you are innocent, though I fear that British juries have not yet attained that pitch of intelligence when they will give the preference to my theories over Lestrade’s facts.”
“What does sagacity mean, Sherlock?”
“Wisdom, Watson.”
“I see. Then the sagacity of Inspector Lestrade is no match for the sagacity of Mr Sherlock Ferret—the world’s only insulting detective!”
“Consulting detective, Watson Mouse! Consulting!”
I never do seem to get that right.
“And if I am not mistaken, and I surely am not, that is Lestrade upon the stair!”
Indeed, we could hear the heavy steps upon the stair of a rhinoceros (although not a very big one), and a moment later our old friend Lestrade appeared in the doorway.
“Tea?” offered Sherlock, as Lestrade entered our sitting room, breathless from the hill, as usual. I went to the kitchen to retrieve his large cup. He had left a not-very-big-rhinoceros-sized cup with us to use during his frequent visits for tea and cake, for ours had been far too small to accommodate a rhinoceros, even a not very big one.
“I would very much like to have some when this business is over, Mr Ferret, but first I must do my duty and arrest that thief!” He pointed accusingly at Mr Phileas Frog. “Phileas James Frog, I hereby arrest you for the robbery of the Bank of London.”
“One moment, Lestrade,” said Sherlock Ferret. “Half an hour more or less can make no difference to you, and the gentleman was about to give us the account of this very interesting affair, which might aid us in clearing it up.”
”I think there will be no difficulty in clearing it up,” said Lestrade, grimly. “His bags contained some of the missing gold coins.”
“Shiny gold coins?” asked Sherlock Ferret. Sherlock and I were well aware of Moriarty Magpie’s love for all things which sparkled.
“Exactly.”
Sherlock Ferret nodded with sagacity. (I am always happy to use the new words Sherlock Ferret has taught me.) “Nonetheless, my friend, with your permission I should be much interested to hear his account.”
“Well, Mr. Ferret,” said Lestrade politely, for he is always polite (unlike some other people), “it is difficult for me to refuse you anything, but at the same time I must remain with my prisoner and I am bound to warn him that anything he may say will appear in evidence against him.”
“And provided we accompany him, do you see any reason why he might not make his long-awaited appearance at the Reform Club?”
Lestrade weighed the matter a moment. “Well, provided he comes to Scotland Yard immediately after...”
“I could go to gaol happy if I could only make my appointment!” said Phileas Frog.
“Well then, that appears to settle the matter,” Sherlock Ferret hastily added. “And you can provide the details on the ride to the club.”
Lestrade looked uneasy, but agreed.
<<<______>>>
“From the beginning, then. What made you decide to set off upon this grand adventure?”
“Some members of the club were discussing new inventions, and the conversation turned rapidly to methods of transportation. The discussion led to a wager— that one could travel around the world by train and steamer in just eighty days, and that I myself could do it.”
“In what amount was the wager?”
“20,000 pounds.”
I gasped. That was quite a lot of money.
“Do you recall which club members were discussing the matter?”
“I’m sorry, Mr Ferret, but I do not.”
“That is a shame. Perhaps you will recall later. If you do, please provide me with that information.”
“I do recall a bird, and a lioness, and...a fish was upon the table. I had seen the bird at the club before, but not the other two.”
“Was the bird a magpie, by chance? Black and white with a top hat?”
“No, definitely not.”
Sherlock Ferret took a matchstick from out his coat pocket and began to chew on it. He claimed they helped in keeping his teeth sharp, but I knew this meant he was thinking especially hard. “Very well then, please proceed,” he said, and I smiled at his display of good manners. He smiled back at me, pleased that I had noticed.
“I was permitted a travelling companion, my friend Opossumpartout. We left by steamer for Bombay that very evening. It was then that I suspected we were being followed.”
Lestrade blushed, as far as it was possible for him to do so, for his skin was rather thick. “I had been on his trail, yes. It is very difficult for me to be stealthy, as you know.” I placed a hand on his knee reassuringly. He was not stealthy but he was still an excellent plainclothes detective, even though his clothes were quite fancy most of the time. “I did not have a warrant yet, so I had to wait,” he explained.
“As it turned out the wind was at our backs and the steamer arrived two days ahead of schedule! We had to wait for the train from Bombay to Calcutta, and so Opossumpartout decided to see the sights. He told me a fellow tourist suggested he visit a Hindu temple, and also advised him it was customary to don formalwear to do so. This friendly suggestion was inaccurate in the extreme, as one is not permitted to enter the sacred grounds as a visitor, and to do so wearing shoes was adding insult to injury. He barely made it to the ship in one piece!”
Sherlock Ferret turned to Lestrade. “Interesting, that a stranger should intervene in this manner, is it not?” Lestrade nodded in agreement.
“We were travelling through India when we heard of a calamity about to befall a beautiful princess who was about to be thrown upon a pyre! Of course it was my duty to rescue her.” I nodded in agreement. “We did so through Opossumpartout disguising himself as the ghost of the princess’s deceased husband, and she joined us on our journey.”
“This odd circumstance certainly cost you time.”
“That it did, but we had little choice but to save her. And the delay did not take us off our original schedule.”
Sherlock Ferret looked suspicious. “It is unusual that you should stumble upon this situation.”
“I do not doubt that the woman was in genuine peril, for she is now my wife and is of upstanding character. Why she—”
“Spare me the romance, for we have little enough time as is. Suffice it to say you remained poised to win the bet. What was the next delay?”
“I was detained in Calcutta for questioning by this man,” Frog gestured toward Lestrade, “and was unable to meet up with Opossumpartout, who had learned our ship would be leaving from Yokohama earlier than I had anticipated. We missed the steamer, and had to take another.”
“We are nearing our destination. I must continue to speed you through the process. Were there other delays?”
“We started due east from San Francisco, having been assured by the stationmaster that the train would take us all the way to New York, but the train ran out of track halfway across that vast continent. We had to connect the two separate rail lines via sled, and so missed our ship to Southampton. We did, however, manage to find a schooner bound for Queenstown, Ireland, followed by a train to Dublin and a mail boat to Liverpool. When I was in England once more, I heard that the Inspector now intended to arrest me.”
“It is likely the same stationmaster who misinformed you of the train’s route had a hand in planting the gold coins in your luggage. We haven’t the time to travel to the railway stations of California, Watson, but it remains my belief that were we able to do so and examine the area we would find a certain singular black feather upon the platform!”
“You are certain he is behind this?”
“Friend Watson, Moriarty Magpie is the organiser of half that is evil and of nearly all that is undetected in this land.”
“He is indeed nefarious!” I cried.
And speaking of the nefarious Moriarty Magpie, what should we see in the crowd of spectators lining the streets in front of the Reform Club awaiting Mr Phileas Frog’s arrival but a certain black-feathered bird sporting a shiny top hat!
“There he is!” cried Sherlock Ferret. “Stop the carriage! Watson Mouse and I shall exit here!” Mr Frog continued on toward the Reform Club rear entrance near where the stables were kept. Lestrade stayed at his side.
“Well, well, well if it isn't that sillysillysilly ferret and his little mouse! Whatever are you doing here?”
“I think the better question is what are you doing here, Moriarty Magpie!”
“Me? Well, I happen to have an invitation! My dear friend Colonel Sebastian Moorhen is a long-time member of this club, and he has invited me to join him to-day. It is rather exciting to see the conclusion of this trip round the world. Such a pity that Mr Frog could not finish on time. Such a pity!”
Colonel Moorhen smiled broadly. It was rather frightening, even though his smile didn’t show any pointy teeth, like Sherlock Ferret’s does. Moriarty Magpie smiled as well, and began to sing:
I’m a very clever magpie, and you’re a silly ferret.
I have some money, this is true, but never have I bet it.
You want to know my reasons, but it's to no avail.
For it gives me such great pleasure just to watch good people fail.
He would have won a fortune had he not delayed so long
And now that frog has nothing. And so I end my song.
Sherlock Ferret shook his tail in disagreement. We both agreed, without needing to discuss the matter, not to mention that Mr Phileas Frog had indeed won his bet.
<<<______>>>
I brought up a bit of a cinnamon apple pie—a rather remarkable breakfast, if I do say so myself—which Mrs Hudson had dropped near our door. Sherlock Ferret was lost in thought, and the carpet round his chair was littered with chewed matchsticks and the early editions of the morning papers. I offered him the confection, but Sherlock Ferret refused it. He seldom ate whilst on a case, claiming the digestion interfered with his thought process. When I protested, as I have in the past, he snapped that I was a doctor of mouseology, not a proper doctor, and he wished me to leave so he could do “ferret things”. I was able to provide a suitable distraction only by suggesting we visit the arboretum where there was a special exhibit on butterflies. Sherlock Ferret did so love his butterflies, and he reluctantly agreed to accompany me on a stroll. He returned home refreshed and wanting to discuss all that he had learned with Wiggins and the rest of the cappertillars that make up his Bakery Irregulars. After visiting with them, he returned to me in good spirits and spent a happy hour pouring through his Big Book of Butterflies.
“I owe you thanks for your company and your moral support to-day,” he said, placing his hand upon my shoulder. “I know Moriarty Magpie is behind this, but he is being truthful that he has not placed any wagers against Phileas Frog. I have checked. It is not enough to know that he is responsible. It is likely Mr Frog was not in London at the time of the robbery, but Lestrade will need to account for the coins planted in his bags and that will require motive. But even beyond that, I feel compelled to ferret out his reasoning. He taunts me with this.”
“I am privileged to be your friend, Sherlock Ferret. Perhaps it is my weakness, but when you left for the Case of the Poisoned Pond, I had to eat supper on my own, and brush my teeth and go to bed on my own. I did not like it. I also do not like it when you do ferret things on your own.”
I went to the kitchen and returned with mint hot chocolate for myself and soy milk and honey for Sherlock, having learned the recipe from Hilda Hedgehog. We sat together side by side upon the settee, quietly sipping our drinks before the fire. I suggested we retire early for the evening.
Sherlock Ferret opened the drawer which contained his pajamas, and glanced upward at the wall of criminals which lined the room. I disliked how they always seemed to stare outward with malevolence (that is a word Sherlock Ferret taught me which means bad thoughts), but some battles are not worth fighting. He fixed his gaze upon the portrait of Baron Grouper and his whole body gave a wriggle of suppressed excitement.
“A fish, Watson! There was a fish at the table. And a lion. And a bird. Not a magpie, Watson, but a moorhen! It was his friend, Colonel Moorhen who had placed the bet! That is why he sabotaged the journey. I must inform Lestrade at once!” He scurried off, no doubt to the nearest telegraph office.
I headed back to our sitting room to wait for his return. The Pigasso painting which adorned that particular wall, unfinished though it was, proved far more pleasant to look upon than those malevolent portraits. And I was beginning to agree that the ‘Ferret Before the Mirror’’s tail resembled Sherlock Ferret’s quite a bit after all.
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no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 05:20 am (UTC)MY.
GOD.
This is pitch-perfect and amazing and the ILLUSTRATIONS. (The illustrations!!) My face hurts from grinning and I'm going to have to come back and leave you a better comment in the morning (because bedtime and schoolnight) but in the meanwhile be assured: I love my present VERY MUCH and also THANK YOU.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-18 10:26 pm (UTC)This story still absolutely delights me. So many little canon touches that you get just exactly right! Watson will struggle with big words, even as he takes immense pride in them! (And Ferret has endless patience for him about it!) And Lestrade's dedicated teacups! (Because he is a rhinoceros, even if not a very big one!) And Moriarty's little song! But even moreso, you got the affectionate heart of them just right -- sure, there are small moments of tension (only a doctor of mouseology, my word, Sherlock!) but Watson Mouse isn't too shy to talk about his feelings and ask for what he wants, and they do ultimately very much enjoy being together and looking out for each other. (And butterfly walks!) I'm just a big warm happy ball of fluff, reading this.
And I adore your gallery of rogues. Isadora
KleinKlion is one of my favourites of canon, and I positively thrilled to see her here! But all the rest, too! Baron Grouper's monocle! And that exceedingly unpleasant expression of Grimesby Royalotter's! (Such a nasty man,RoylottRoyalotter!) And Silverfish is a perfect choice for a blackmailer -- silverfish do have that nasty habit of getting into stacks of paper and reading all the secrets!! I can very much see why Sherlock keeps this gallery of rogues upon his walls!In short, this is such a lovely work, and it delights me THIS MUCH. Thank you so much for gifting it to me!
no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 07:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 11:44 am (UTC)The illustrations at the end are BRILLIANT and hilarious. Throughout the story the name puns were a highlight!!
no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 12:47 pm (UTC)Marta
no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 08:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-15 05:07 pm (UTC)While they were in America, poor Oppossumpartout was very likely in danger not from Sioux but from Appalachian and/or Cajun folk, who'd see him as a tasty addition to a stewpot.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-17 12:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-22 06:36 pm (UTC)